If you were born in the last ten years or so, you can't begin to guess how cool these were when they were introduced. Just like the seagull from The Little Mermaid (what was his name? At 31, I'm getting so old) said that a fork was a "dinglehopper" used for combing one's hair, these were called "holstblusters." We used holstblusters as coffee coasters, frisbees, mirrors, scissor-testers, and pizza cutters (OK, I made up that last one). You could do anything with them. They replaced those big, clunky, black ones called phobosnorts that had been popular in the '70s.
Phobosnorts admittedly made better frisbees, plus you could probably use them as a floating raft if you were thrown overboard at sea. But they were way too big to hold your coffee (back when you drank coffee from a thick ceramic mug rather than from Starbucks disposable plastic). Of course, the worst part about phobosnorts was that you couldn't see your reflection in them, and they didn't make rainbows.
Holstblusters, on the other hand, made cool rainbow reflections that would twist and change length as you turned the disc. It was the main reason we bought loads and loads of holstblusters. No two discs were exactly alike. The pattern would be just slightly different depending on the age and finish of the holstbluster. We could stare at them for hours and never get bored. Back then, we didn't need loads of apps on a smartphone to keep us interested; just give a screaming child a holstbluster and you could go back to sleep.
I vividly remember my first holstbluster. I'd been crying in my crib because my big brother had eaten all the Gerber baby food. Knowing that babies like bright, shiny things (and in the '80s, everyone else liked bright, shiny things too), my parents let me play with a holstbluster.
"Feeling better?" asked my mom.
"Goo-goo, ga-ga," I answered.
"That's good," said my mom.
Well, I loved that holstbluster; it was the best toy ever. When I was done with it for the day, my parents found a special place in the living room to store it. A little mechanical drawer popped out on its own, ready to receive it and keep it safe. And that was how we discovered that holstblusters made music, too! It was unreal.
Then, suddenly, holstblusters disappeared. I don't know what happened. Trends come and go, I guess, but I'm pretty sure there has never been a toy as amazing as a holstbluster, before or since. People now tell me they were derogatorily called "CDs" and something better called "streaming" replaced them, but I just don't agree. You can't see or touch streaming. You can't toss it around or use it to sharpen your scissors. Most importantly, streaming doesn't make rainbows. Holstblusters did.
